>> MOTHER'S DICTIONARY>

AMNESIA: 

Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor >to make love again.

>

DUMBWAITER: 

One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

>

FAMILY PLANNING: 

The art of spacing your children the proper >distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

>

FEEDBACK: 

The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate >the strained carrots.

>

FULL NAME: 

What you call your child when you're mad at him.

>

GRANDPARENTS: 

The people who think your children are wonderful even >though they're sure you're not raising them right.

>

HEARSAY: 

What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

>

IMPREGNABLE: 

A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

>

INDEPENDENT: 

How we want our children to be as long as they do >everything we say.

>

OW: 

The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

>

PUDDLE: 

A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing >dry shoes into it.

>

SHOW OFF: 

A child who is more talented than yours.

>

STERILIZE: 

What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it >and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

>

TOP BUNK: 

Where you should never put a child wearing Superman >pajamas.

>

TWO MINUTE WARNING: 

When the baby's face turns red and he or she begins >to make those familiar grunting noises.

>

VERBAL: 

Able to whine in words

>

WHODUNIT: 

None of the kids that live in your house . . . .>