> > > THIS IS FOR US MEN WHO ARE TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE BASHING JOKES > > > How many men does it take to open a beer? > None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. > > Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? > Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be > able to support you. > > Why do women have smaller feet than men? > So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink. > > How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? > When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..." > > How do you fix a woman's watch? > You don't. There is a clock on the oven. > > Why do men pass gas more than women? > Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure. > > If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at > the front door, who do you let in first? > The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in. > > All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell > them apart. > > What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? > A woman that won't do what she's told. > > I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. > > I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her.. > > What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? > Divorced. > > Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same. > > Scientist have discovered a food to diminish a woman's sex drive by 90%. > It's called Wedding Cake. > > Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, > Suffering. > > Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" > I said, "Dust!" > > In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created > Man and rested. Then God created Woman. > Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. > > My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state > troopers and a dog. > > Why do men die before their wives? They want to.